mar15241's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Outgrown? There's no use typing random entries any longer. I think I have finally outgrown this diary. It has been 5 long years since I started it, and I am a totally different person, though admittedly with similar dysfunctionalities. I don't even think that's a word. Idiosyncrasies works, but alas, that is not the point. I am still self conscious, though fortunately not to the extent I was. I have found confidence in myself and my abilities, though I don't always allow myself to recognize this. I take great comfort in my true friends, for they mean the world to me. This time next year I'll be in my college dorm room, slaving over multivariable calculus under a desk lamp. But I will be happy, I cannot let myself digress to the state that high school has rendered me. I will work for the attainment of knowledge, and not for the A. I will try to quit worrying as much. Worry is my downfall; it keeps me from enjoying life/accomplishing some things. Proof of that is right now, as I sit here typing, tying up loose ends, instead of just finishing my chemistry outline and getting on to the 50-some problems that are due tomorrow. I told myself I would exercise, yet I spent the last hour searching websites trying to find out if I have a reason to be worried about a particular situation. I just need to learn to let it go, let things happen, and everything will turn out for the best. On second thoughts, maybe I haven't outgrown this. Releasing emotions is good for the soul, though perhaps the internet is not the place for that. 8:27 p.m. - 2006-02-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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